True Love

"God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son..."  John 3:16

Love, too, is a fruit of the Spirit.  Once we have truly experienced the Father's love, then we are free to love one another.  Others are no threat to us - we are loved.  Other's opinions do not matter - we are loved by God.  Our emotions will not rule over us or overtake us - we are loved.  Is God's love a reality in your life?  Are you choosing to believe His love even when you don't feel lovable?

There was a time in my life when I felt that everyone that should love me did not.  My marriage was struggling, my parents and in-laws were not acting in love and I did not love myself.  When I cried out to God, He established in my heart His love for me.  He loved me so much that He died for me!  I am lovable!  You are lovable!  God loves you.  If others choose not to love you, that is their problem, not yours! 

After this prayer and understanding of God's love, I was able to feel lovable, and thus I was able to love my husband and my children from the overflow of God's love.  I was free!  It took me several years to fully be able to embrace God's love for me as I had to go back and release a lot of yuck in my childhood to God.  But through it all, I never doubted the fact of God's love. 

I was not a planned pregnancy and I always felt the rejection of not being wanted.  But when I understood my new birth in Christ, I was able to replace those feelings with great wonder at the fact that I was not an accident!  God knew me before He planned the world!  He has a plan and a purpose for my life!  I was able to visualize myself in the Father's arms as a baby and knew that He had rejoiced over my physical and spiritual births.  Then I was able to see myself in a beautiful dress as a 6 year old and dance before my Father in heaven and be cherished for my exuberance and childishness!  Finally, I am now able to stand before Him, sit with Him, and walk with Him as an adult who is loved and who loves her Lord. 

Love is a fruit of the spirit.  It grows naturally when we are planted in God's word and are standing in His presence through prayer and praise.  If you are having a hard time feeling loved or loving others,  ask God to show you through His word how much He loves you.  Then walk in that truth, claiming it as reality. The emotions and feelings will eventually follow after!

Hint for the Day:  Love your kids. Tell them that you love them.  Show them that you love them.  But be careful!  Kids pick up on your actions more than your words.  If you are always yelling at them, putting them down, or not spending time with them, your words of 'I love you" won't be believed! 

Joy

"...the joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10
"...joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Oh to know the joy of the Lord!  But joy is born from sorrow.  In Nehemiah it was the sorrow of having forgotten their God, of having been in exile from their homeland, and of having to rebuild their city, their country, and their relationship with God.  That was a lot of work!  In Psalms 30 the first part of the verse talks about anger and weeping.  "But a shout of joy comes in the morning!"  When we wrestle with our emotions, our circumstances, other people, or God, there is great anger and weeping.  But when we humble ourselves and choose to trust God, then there is great joy. 

I did an extensive study on the word "joy" in the Bible many years ago.  My great "aha" was that it is always linked with being in the presence of the Lord!  He is our joy.  When you are in God's presence through prayer do you come to Him with a list?  Do you speak and forget to listen?  Or do you take time to praise Him and just enjoy God?  That is being in His presence.

 Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit.  It is not something that we can manufacture.  I have never seen a tree grunt and groan trying to pop out fruit!  But when that tree puts its roots deep into the soil and raises its limbs to the sun, fruit grows naturally.  We are that tree.  Our roots need to be firmly planted by streams of water (the Holy Spirit and the word of God) and we need to lift our hands to the Sun!  Joy will be a natural byproduct of being in God's presence.

If joy is not yours today, ask yourself when was the last time I sat in the presence of God and just enjoyed Him?  If you are in a time of anger or weeping, choose to trust God and know that joy will come in the morning when you let God be sovereign.  Joy can be yours.  It is a fruit of your relationship with God.  If you are without it, go deeper in with the God who created you, who loves you, who died for you, who is preparing a place in heaven for you.  Joy comes when you know deep in your heart that today is just today, but eternity awaits you even now when you sit with Jesus.

Hint of the Day:  Have a joyful home.  Let your kids see your joy through laughter and song.  Let your reactions be Godly.  The mom sets the tone of the home.  This is true.  Try it!  Even if you are not feeling joyful, choose to act joyfully.  Your emotions will line up and you will find your heart lighter.

Anger and Forgiveness

"Be angry, yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." Ephesians 4:26

I am stuck on this topic because I know the bondage that anger or hurt can leave you in, and I know the freedom and joy that can be yours when you can forgive and let go!

 Let's put this verse in Ephesians in context.  Ephesians 4:23-24 says, "...that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth."  When you asked Jesus to be in charge of your life and you were born again, you became a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17).  You were made righteous based not on your actions, but on the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus.  This righteousness and holiness is based in truth.  Truth is Jesus and the word of God.  To be renewed in the spirit of our minds, we must be about reading God's word, praying and being in God's presence.  The Holy Spirit will renew our minds through God's word. 

Notice that we are to be about putting on the new self.  This is a choice, minute by minute.  But we have the power, the option, the choice to do so.  The next several verses talk about laying aside the old self of falsehood and anger.  Verse 27 says that when we allow falsehood or anger into our lives, we "...give the devil opportunity."  Satan will keep you so bound up by your lies or anger that you are so inward focused and outward unproductive and destructive that God can not renew you or use you.

We are to forgive as Jesus forgave.  Wow!  That's a lot of forgiveness!  I can't do this on my own, but the Holy Spirit can give me the power to.  It is a choice of the will.  Then the emotions will line up.  But when we don't forgive we can't grow up or be "sanctified".  We are stuck and our hearts are cut off from God's cleansing and renewal.

As I began to walk the path of forgiveness, the Holy Spirit showed me my heart and what I needed to ask forgiveness for. He humbled me before those that I needed to forgive. Then He filled my up with so much joy and release that I wanted to forgive all others.  If you are stuck in unforgiveness, read God's word, see how much you were forgiven, see how much it cost the Father and the Son, and see how it is keeping you from being able to move forward in your relationship with Christ and with others. 

Hint for the Day:  Know the difference between aggressive anger and assertive anger.

Aggressive Anger                                             Assertive anger

Seeks to punish person                                     Seeks to help person
                                                                          who does wrong

Does not care about the                                    Tries to be understanding
other person’s point of
view.

 Is stubborn, immovable,                                    Is flexible and willing to seek

and demanding.                                                alternatives.

 Is condemning and judgmental.              Recognizes we all have faults.

Has high expectations of                                   Knows even the finest people 

everyone.                                                         Sometimes makes mistakes.

Cares about what happens to                Cares about the welfare of others.
oneself.

Holds grudges.                                     Knows the value of forgiving.

Does not notice one’s own                    Recognizes that one can always

areas of weaknesses.                            Improve.

Before you communicate:

1.      Do not attempt to establish your own superiority

2.      Make sure anger is constructive
3.      Be aware of responsiveness of recipient
4.      Consider feelings and circumstances of recipient (timing is everything)!

As you communicate:

1.      Discriminate essential from non-essential problems.

2.      Confront problems as soon as possible.
3.      Stick to the subject.
4.      Be honest about your feelings (I statements).
5.      Avoid terms of exaggeration.
6.      Refrain from character assassination.
7.      Listen to understand
8.      Give self a time limit.
9.      Don’t ask loaded questions.
10.  Keep positive attitude.
11.  Be tactful about when and where
12.  Remember that winning is not the goal.

These suggestions are taken from Les Carter's book The Anger Workbook.

Heart Attack - Energizing Exercise

"But have nothing to do with worldly fables fit only for old women.  On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come."
1 Timothy 4:7-8

Discipline.  Don't you just cringe when you hear that word?  This is not the punishment of acts committed, although sometimes it feels that way!  This is the continual practice of good choices that over time changes our bodies, our minds, and our spirits.

Our physical heart is a muscle.  When we use it vigorously, it grows stronger, when we don't exercise it, it grows weaker.  Our faith is the same way.  When we use our faith by trusting in God's word and His relationship then our faith will grow stronger.  When we don't use our faith, it will weaken and eventually atrophy.  We exercise our faith by believing God's word and acting upon it even when our reality or our emotions tell us something different.  In order to do this, we must know the word of God.  Romans 12:2 says: "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind."  We renew our mind by reading the word of God and praying.  We have the Holy Spirit within us as believers.  The Holy Spirit illuminates God's word giving us understanding and convicting us when we sin.  ("All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17.)

Let me give you an example.  As a child, hopefully you did not have to worry about where you meals would come from.  You went about your day and a parent in your life put food on the table - morning, noon, and night.  You did not spend time worrying about your next meal.  You did not pray that somehow your next meal would be there.  It just was.  You put your faith in your parent to provide for you.  Each time that you sat down at the table you exercised your faith in your parent.  Now, if you were not fortunate enough to have a faithful parent, then you did have to spend time worrying about how you would eat.  You did not exercise faith by showing up for lunch at noon everyday, because there was nothing there to eat.

Our God is the faithful parent.  He knows what is best for us and we can trust Him.  Spurgeon once said, "When you can't see God's hand, trust His heart."  If you know God's heart - His love for you that drove Jesus to the cross, then you can trust Him, put your faith in Him, and find rest rather than worry.

One way to exercise your spiritual heart is to remember.  Remember the times that God was faithful.  Then you can move forward knowing that He will be faithful again.  Exercise your faith by believing that what God says is true and walk in that truth.  Your heart will thank you.

Hint for the Day: Keep your kids moving!  Reduce their tv and computer time and require them to spend time outside.  They will naturally run, climb trees, chase each other, jump, or play with the dog.  This will keep their bodies healthy. 
For their spiritual health, read the word to them daily, sing praises together, and challenge them to trust God when they are upset, worried, afraid, or sad.  You can have them make a "Trust God Box".  Take any small box and have them decorate it.  Then have them write down anything that they are afraid or or worried about.  Have them pray about the situation and then give it to God by placing it in the box.  Let go of the paper and the worry.  If they start to worry or fret, they are to take the paper out, pray about the situation again, and give it back to God by putting it back into the box.  Even we moms could use a "Trust God Box"!

Heart Attack - Unclogging Our Arteries

"...lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble..." Hebrews12:15

In yesterday's blog, I spoke about eating right to keep your heart healthy, but if your arteries are already clogged, it may require surgery to clean the impurities, anger, bitterness, and depression from your heart.  "For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper then any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Hebrews 4:12.  Surgery hurts; it is not fun, but once the pus and infection is removed, real healing can begin.  Some of us are carrying hurts and anger from the past.  We have accepted Jesus' forgiveness, we understand that we need to forgive others, but we just haven't been able to let some things go.  

Unresolved anger (or hurt which is anger turned inwards) can lead to bitterness, then malice, wrath, hatred, revenge, and then to depression, destructive behavior, psychosomatic illness, or even suicidal thoughts.

The steps of surgery follows: 1.  Acknowledge the hurt.  Accept the fact that you were wronged and that it hurt.  2.  Grieve that hurt and loss. The loss might have been a loss of relationship, the loss of a dream, the loss of innocence, or other losses.  3.  Give your hurt to God.  "'Vengeance is Mine,' thus saith the Lord"! (Deuteronomy 32:35)  4.  Choose to forgive the other person or yourself.

 Forgiveness is a choice of the will.  You may still have some negative emotions about that person or situation, but if you keep asking God to give you peace and claim the forgiveness, then eventually the thought of the circumstance will no longer hold any emotional power over you.  One time I chose to forgive a friend  But eight months later I would still cry when I heard her name.  That was a part of the healing and grieving.  Now we are actually back into a good relationship, but with some safe boundaries.  Others I chose to forgive, but I have not entered back into a relationship with them because they continue to be abusive.  Remember that we are to forgive as our Heavenly Father has forgiven us through Jesus.  That's a whole bunch.  We can not do this on our own; we need the power of God and His word transforming our lives.

God is the Creator and The Great Physician.  Humble yourself and put yourself into His hands to perform surgery that will heal and leave you not without, but with great joy!

Hint for the Day: Teach your children that anger is  not wrong, but that we are responsible with what we do with our anger.  In our house, the children could cry or talk about their anger, but they were not allowed to scream, hit, kick, or punch.  If their reaction to their anger was too much, we would direct them to a physical activity like running, punching a punching bag, or shooting baskets, before trying to sit with them and letting them cry and talk it out.   when talking to the child, stay on topic  and try to help them communicate the hurt.  Then lead them through the steps above.

Heart Attack - It's All About What You Eat

"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spritual songs,singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God." Colossians 3:16

If someone has a heart attack and survives, they know that they must make some drastic changes in the way they eat.  They have to cut out more fat, more sugars, and some carbs and eat meat and vegetables with a few fruit and whole grains.  To keep our hearts healthy so that we don't have a heart attack, we need to use that same formula. 

To keep our spiritual heart healthy we must be about "eating" the right foods as well - God's word.  Listen to Paul in Hebrews 5:14-15.  He is admonishing them because they are not growing.  They are not growing because they are not "eating" daily from God's word and have begun following false doctrine.  Here is what he says, "For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, but he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil."

Throughout the Bible, God's word is referred to as meat, bread, milk, and water.  Input equals output.  That is an old principle, but it still holds true.  Let's look back at Colossians 3:16 from the first of this blog.  The word of Christ (which is truth and the sum of the whole word of God) must dwell within us.  It dwells within us when we input it by reading, listening, discussing, practicing, and trusting the words of the Bible.  Notice that when it dwells within us we have wisdom.  Jesus is wisdom personified.  We have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16). James says to ask for wisdom and God will grant it to us. (James 1:5)  Wisodm comes from God. When we dwell in the word, we gain understanding and instruction which are the ingredients for wisdom.  Colossians goes on to say that by having the word dwelling within us we will have the wisdom to admonish one another.  This is not critical judgment of disapproval, but rather loving confrontation of sin that the other might grow in Christ.  Then with songs of praise and thankfulness we are to draw near to God. ("Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise." Psalm 100:4)

This is the key to a healthy heart.  In the presence of God through His word and in praise and thanksgiving, we will be transformed. (Romans 12:2)  And in His presence there is joy and health.

A healthy spiritual heart will also bring physical wellness.  Look at Proverbs 3:1 and 8. (My son, do not forget my teaching, But let the  your heart keep my commandments; For length of days and years of life, And peace they will add to you...It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones.")  God heals through His word and through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Eat well.  Stay healthy.

Hint for the Day: Moms, trying to change the whole diet of your family at once is never a good idea.  Introduce new foods one at at time, eliminating the bad along the way.  Our core rule when the boys were young was to have at least 2 "living" foods at every meal.  This could be raw vegetables instead of chips, fruit with breakfast, and cooked vegetables with dinner.  Snacks can be fruit, veggies, nuts, seeds, or peanut butter on whole grain bread.  Raisins are a good pick me up as well.

Heart Attack - Regular Checkups

The next several blogs will be titled “Heart Attack”

“Watch over your heart with all diligence,

for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23

 If you want to avoid a spiritual heart attack, you must watch over your heart.  How do we watch over our hearts?  First of all it is not a one time action, it is ongoing.  We are to be watching over our heart.  Then, we are to do it diligently.  That means with effort, constancy, intentionality, and with purpose.  We watch over our hearts by regular checkups, watching what we put into our hearts, uprooting bitterness, anger, or depression, and exercising our hearts.

 Let’s talk about getting regular checkups. 2 Corinthians 13:5 tells us to “Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves!”  Heart health begins with honest introspection and conversation between you and God. Have you put your faith in Jesus, not just knowing about Him, but really asking Him to be in control of your life, to come in and do a thorough cleaning of your heart and to make you a new creature? (2 Corinthians 5:17)  If you have done that, are you keeping a watch to make sure your heart remains pure before God?  Do your actions and speech display a heart of forgiveness, mercy, and grace?  Are your desires in line with God’s word?  Are you daily seeking God’s way and His presence – spending time in His word and in prayer?  Is your heart grateful?  Content? Full of praise and adoration?

 If you answer no to any of these questions, then it is time for a change of heart or else you will have a spiritual heart attack!  You will have a sick heart which will make your body and mind sick as well.  The cure for a weak or sick heart is renewing the heart by repentance and replacing old thoughts with new ones!  Repentance is turning away from the old lies, sin, and attitudes and moving towards forgiveness, renewal, wholeness, and joy.  By replacing old thoughts with new ones, you will be transformed! (Romans 12:2 and Philippians 4:8)

It is never too late to start healthy habits that will strengthen your heart.  But only God can give your heart new life and health.  There is no sin too deep that Jesus’ death cannot cover it.  There is no emotion too great or action too bad that God cannot forgive.  Examine your heart.  Ask God to reveal to you if there is pride or anger or bitterness there and then repent and renew by letting God’s love in.  He will heal you from the inside out!

Hint of the Day:  If you are going through a hard time, remember God’s faithfulness in times past.  He often tells His people in the Old Testament to “Remember” -  Remember His faithfulness in taking them out of Egypt, in establishing them in a new land, in defeating their enemies, in providing for their needs.  It does our hearts good to “Remember.”  Try writing down the times that you have seen God’s hand throughout your life.  Then praise Him for those times and commit your today to Him in trust and faith.  End in praise.  Remember that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.